Hey wee one!
I’m writing this at midnight because I just can’t sleep and knew this would be our last night of just “me and you”. My big Christmas Reveal will be tonight and then I can shout about you from the mountain tops, you little miracle!! (So this can’t be posted until then 😉 )
You’re nearly 11 weeks old in my womb and not even your daddy knows about you yet! Before I knew you were growing; me and daddy had talked about how he cannot keep a surprise…period!
For example….I happened to be in New Zealand without daddy there when I found out I was pregnant with your ‘big’ sis Aveya (she’s 11 months old right now 🙂 …I had a high risk of ectopic pregnancies so said “don’t tell ANYONE I’m pregnant until I get home and have an ultrasound”… Long story short, I got congratulations texts minutes later because daddy can’t “lie” about his favorite things in life.
Before you were in my womb me and daddy had a brief conversation about him not being able to keep things confidential because he feels he is lying (I love his honest heart). He basically said ‘Polly, you just can’t tell me surprises until you’re ready for the world to know’…sooo that being said YOU will be the one and only surprise I’ve EVER saved for daddy!
I found out you were alive on November 14th, 2016 in our downstairs bathroom after I felt I had been a little mean for a few too many days straight. I have your positive test in daddys Christmas reveal box! I already knew I would wait to tell your dad but didn’t know how long. We headed to my cousins wedding weeks later and I rode with auntie Heather..our only family member capable of keeping anything and all things sacred a secret if you ask her (sorry other fam…love ya…we’re just all too close to keep secrets huh?!?) Anyway..I told Heather because I felt like I was lying about such an important part of my life and told her I’d make you dad’s Christmas present this year. She told me that you and I will share an intimacy and a closeness forever because of this and I believe her!
Soo you and me and Aveya have been chatting together for 5 weeks since and Vey seems excited 😉 No one has commented on how cute and fluffy you’re making my belly or how much I eat or nap or lash out in random moods (except aunt Betsy. ….she totally called I was pregnant TWICE already!!)..and a few friends have asked point blank if I’m pregnant and I had to lie straight to their faces!! Sorry Jamie, Gina and Amber!
It’s been fun chatting with you while everyone is at school and work…I never did this with the other 4 because I would just tell everyone around who asked how I was.
I’ve learned a lot of good through keeping you a surprise. It’s not about ME, it’s about you!!! Because your meema and grandma are the most amazing women ever; they always dote on me while I’m pregnant and make sure every need of mine is met…yes it’s all for you really but not having them to ‘baby’ me has made me really just press into the Lord when I’m nauseous or exhausted or elated that you’re alive!
I’ve kinda learned to buck up really. To fake it until I make it in a good way! To take care of myself in private and be present for others in public, without any attention on me. It’s been fun.
But you’re sooo precious to me!! And it’s time!!! Tonight daddy will open his gift…I took a picture of me holding five wooden #’s and have the positive test under the picture and the numbers.
I framed that pic for daddy.
I think we might send this other photo out to share you with our family and friends though*
I’ll video daddy and your 4 siblings as they learn of your life! I can’t post it here but will certainly show you it someday!
I love you already! You are a precious miracle and will be Aveyas dream buddy!
(Oh ps* I got to see you via ultrasound and you’ve got a strong heartbeat and are a little bouncing kumquat right now 🙂