Confessions…

Hot on the heels of me trying to find my passions, I have a few confessions to make.

After probably 10 or so years of LOVING reality T.V. (and not truthfully admitting it without feeling guilt); I can confidently say.

“I LOVE CERTAIN REALITY T.V. SHOWS AND I’M NOT ASHAMED TO SAY SO”.

After this many years of battling in my mind, heart, and spirit with what ‘christians’ say about a certain show that includes the last name Kardashian, or another show that involves the words bachelor/bachelorette, and the most recent; the show about those hot wives from Orange County.  (those 3 are what I used to be ashamed for people to see on our DVR, what I used to think would make people think I was trashy, and what I had to ask Holy Spirit about for years)

I would feel I needed to explain why I liked these shows to guests who ‘found out’ I watched them. I would tell them how I see them as the people God made them to be and explained how I actually feel called to pray for them and the issues they face on their shows. These expanations were/are truthful; but I no longer feel I need to defend why I watch ‘unbiblical’ T.V. shows.

I certainly agree with the concept that we shouldn’t fill our minds or hearts or homes with things that bring us away from Christ and our growth with him. This is why I’ve battled with these shows that may be seen by Christians as ungodly. My heart feels closer to Christ when I see these peoples’ lives, I never feel depressed or down after watching them. In fact I want to be more bold and confident when I watch the Kardashians, I choose to treat Jeremy like we are new lovers after watching the bachelor/bachelorette seasons, and I feel challenged and excited after watching the housewives of the O.C. to be the most beautiful ‘queen’ for Gods kingdom while I’m here on this earth.

I think I need to expand more on this later; but I just needed to confess with confidence what I love! Knowing that many people are giggling at what I find to make my life more rich or deep 😉

Passion…

So over the last ohhhh, 15 years I’ve wrestled with finding what I’m passionate about.

I’m passionate about my family, my faith, and my food 🙂  …

But I’ve struggled to really know what ‘hobbies’ I’m passionate about, what music I love, whether or not I love art, dance, or athletics…. And this leads to my insecurities about ever being amazing at anything… In my mind, if I’m not passionate about something; I’ll never be able to be ‘the best’ at it.

That being said, I also think it’s absolutely alright for our passions to change or grow as we mature and grow as individuals.

I’m now 30 years old and still have to admit, I’m not completely sure what I’m passionate about!

I am writing this post to “document” something I found myself to be completely immersed in. Something I wanted to watch over and over, and something that made me feel closer to heaven, to Jeremy, and to feeling ‘alive’. I want to blog it mostly so I can remember in my confused times that I indeed do feel ‘passionate’ at times. And it helps me to be confident in what I like regardless of what anyone around me thinks is amazing.  In the past I just accepted what others said was good art, good music, or good anything. And I trusted it. And I still doubt myself when I like something, and ask “what will so and so say about this?” and only share my passion if I think that so and so will agree..

Anyhow… I was an avid watcher of “dancing with the stars” this spring (this would be hard for me to admit in the past)

One of the dances was so beautiful it just stirred something in me and I never want to forget it. This is why I’m blogging (so my kids can see what I liked when I was 30)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU1_OssfgR4

 

After watching this I fell in love with the song they danced to and found something equally as beautiful..

I consider this my and Jeremy’s new love song (we seem to find a new one each year)

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=labrinth+and+emeli+sandi+live&FORM=VIRE3#view=detail&mid=54081A5D8A40D5CAEB4C54081A5D8A40D5CAEB4C

So Aliyah, Avalon, and Brekken..

This is for you* Mama loved these when she was 30! And I’m not ashamed 😉