This is kinda cringe for me to write but hopefully as I do it’ll all come full circle for you..and for me! I’m laying in bed next to my sweet husband and cannot sleep because of this topic on my mind and need to “journal it out”.
(I almost titled this “5 things about me that’ll make you feel better about yourself” but it seemed a tad abrasive). So here are 5 ways I’m imperfectly perfect!
I try to be super healthy but fail every day! This one’s probably pretty common but I’ve truly had to just “do my best” and then let it go. My dearest family and friends across the globe are soo wonderful at eating well and excercizing regularly (so I naturally compare myself to them). They rarely eat sugars, and basically only eat real raw foods at every meal (aka veggies/fruits/nuts/pasture raised proteins). I have slowly “added” healthy things into our home (juicing/homemade kombucha/probiotics) but have a hard time cold turkey “taking away” certain things I know aren’t best. This one is a slow journey and I’m better today than I was yesterday so that’s all I’m going to say about that for now.
I rarely read to my kids… I gave it my all with baby #1 and baby #2 and still did an average job. Baby #3 hated being read to and that’s when it just kinda stopped being a forced priority. Is that why Av and Brek have had a hard time reading? Probably so… Do I have mom guilt about it… Yes…. At the end of the day (years) am I giving my 100% all as a mom.. absolutely! I just can’t linger there too long… I’m great at some things as a mom and this is not one of them.
I used to yell at my kids.. a lot… It’s all a blur but I remember in a matter of a year; 3 of my siblings moved to New Zealand and we uprooted to MN. In hind sight I was extremely stressed and depressed. I had zero friends and my husband was travelling a ton to provide for us…I was basically a single mom to a 1,2 and 4 year old and that’s when I remember yelling… A lot! After probably a solid year of knowing it was just wrong and finally connecting with neighbors and friends (and praying and repenting a lot) it slowly stopped! Of course I have my moments still but it’s not my norm anymore… Praise God!
All 5 of our kids were born with “financial assistance” because of our income… This one’s touchy because my husband is a phenomenal provider! He started his own business basically the day we got pregnant with baby #1 and after 10 years and several added businesses later we finally feel stable… somewhat! I just choose to live like a child of the King and have always held my head high even when my mind has felt shameful for the “assistance”. (More later on the crazy provision and extravagance we experienced even in the midst of that).
I act super confident but I’m not… This one trails on the heals of the last one. I actually do absolutely love myself and think I’m pretty awesome; but I have to fight for that truth every single day. I know I am phenomenal because I am made in the image of the most high God and he doesn’t make mistakes. There will never be another human being called to do what I am called to do and I don’t take that lightly. Whether I am called to mother, clean toilets, or lead nations I want to do it with my head held high in honor of the one who called me to the task.
I write this all because we each get to choose how we view our own life!
I’ve had countless people tell me they think I have the perfect life… And I actually do!
I could choose to say “I don’t have enough, I parent alone, I have none of my favorite people to live this life with, and I’m a failure of a mom”.
Or
“I have always had enough and always will, I get to stay at home with my kids because my husband is sacrificing in the best ways he knows to provide for all 7 of us, I am blessed to have such a deep love for my family that my heart would ache this much to be apart from them, and my kids know that I am giving them my all”.
I choose the latter….and it makes my life become joy! I want your life to become joy too! There is always a flip side to a coin! Flip it over!
PPARRIE 